Kinko for President

According to Kinko The Clown even small cars can be used to rideshare. The candidate apparently prefers colorful models such as this one.

Today, Kinko the clown buffed his green credentials with his unique approach to reducing his own carbon footprint. “We need to get more aggressive about carpooling,” the clown suggested. “Last night 23 friends and I climbed in a MiniCooper to make a beer run and we still had room for 2 kegs. It just requires training, flexibility and a dull sense of smell.”

Kinko’s staff has issued a the following retraction to would-be extreme carpoolers: “Kinko The Clown and his campaign accept no responsibility or liability for members of the public who knowingly exceed the maximum number of passengers and weight restrictions recommended by car manufacturers. Always drive safely and responsibly.”

Shocked by John McCain’s sudden reversal on opening up the shores of America to more oil exploration Kinko lashed out. “This is typical republican fear mongering. McCain is tryng to make americans think they can’t live without more oil. What America needs is new fuel sources such as farts and laughter. Farts contain methane which, when refined, is a great fuel and anyone who has seen Monsters Inc. can tell you that laughter is 10 times more powerful than fear.”

Not to be outdone by his republican rival’s $300 Million dollar prize for a better battery for electric cars Kinko has offered a $2 Billion dollar prize to anyone who can devise a way to combine farts and laughter into the ultimate super fuel.