Kinko for President

Kim Jong IL thinks Kinko should lead North Korea in the event of his untimely demise.

Kinko the clown may find himself leader of two countries if Kim Jong Il, the eccentric dictator of North Korea, has his way or dies anytime soon.

Kinko’s whirl-wind world-wide fact finding mission made a prolonged stop in Pyongyang, the capital of perhaps the most politically isolated nation on earth, where the red carpet was rolled out for Kinko and his staff. The 18 hour stop began over a large banquet presided over by Mr. Jong Il and was followed by an hour long parade of North Korea’s army in full dress regalia. Then Kinko and his team were allowed to visit the massive North Korean International Brotherhood Food Museum detailing the glories of North Korea’s farmers and the communist regime’s success in fighting world hunger.

At which point Kinko stopped the proceedings, turned to Mr. IL and scribbled the following on a scrap of paper, “Mr. IL, this is all lies, you’re lying to yourself and your people. Mr. IL, tear down this museum and tear down the walls that divide this country from it’s south half.”

Shocked, Kim Jong IL responded, “No one has ever spoke like this to me. Do you know who you are speaking to clown?”

To which Kinko replied, “Mr. IL, we are both men of action. Word do not suit us. But let me say this: I know that I am speaking to the leader of a great country and a great people but you must look in your heart and see that what you are doing here is no longer working. Your people are hungry – hungry for food, knowledge, and the rights of self-determination. It’s time I think to give your country back to the people who make it work. Right now, you are no better than the fool who has seized the reins of America.”

Ashamed, Kim Jong IL realized that Kinko the clown was right. Within minutes he had declared that by 2020 he would tear down the wall which divides North and South Korea and establish a democratic commission to oversee the creation of a new government. He also made it known that should he become infirm or die before this time that Kinko the clown would be his first pick to take the reins of this communist nation.

“I’m very flattered by Kim’s enthusiasm for my candidacy but I’m an American. I don’t think I would have the cultural knowledge and savvy to lead the people of North Korea to freedom. But I think they can do this themselves and should do it with all due haste.”

Before leaving Kinko was presented with the Kim IL Sung award, North Korea’s highest honor.