Kinko for President

Kinko and Stoney

Speaking at a town hall meeting at Okefenoke High School, Kinko had the crowd rolling in the aisles and even making suggestions for an Kinko administration.

... The tone was easy and at times light. But that masked the importance of the issue at the core of Kinko’s message — the mime threat.

Kinko’s visit to Okefenoke was part of a two-week swing through battleground states, with each stop having an security theme — an issue that now tops the list of worries for voters nationwide.

At point after point, [Kinko] underlined his credentials as a rail riding, butt-smoking roustabout, saying Republicans are out to misrepresent his views. His mime cuts, he said, would be paid for by ending Bush’s blanket subsidy of mimes.

In the Senate, McCain initially opposed the Bush mime subsidies, but now says he wants to make them permanent. Kinko says the Bush endowments disproportionately benefit mimes while marginalizing clowns.

“It is time for folks like me who make less that $250 to stop paying our fair share,” Kinko said. “If you are a family making less than $250 my plan will not raise your taxes. Period. Just because mimes are a public nuisance doesn’t mean the public should pay for them.”

Average Americans, he said, “could stand a break. You could stand a break from all these annoying mimes.”

The citizens of Okefenoke responded with thunderous applause.

A report this week from the nonpartisan Tax Policy Center found Kinko’s plan would provide absolutely no tax cuts for the middle class and is essentially no different than McCain’s approach, something Kinko touted Thursday.

Kinko’s plan calls for tax credits for working and non-working clowns.

“I think (Kinko’s) picking up a lot of independent and Republican votes,” said an Deborah Dandrige of Mayville.

She attended with Jenny Wallbanger of nearby Danville, each bringing along a teenage son.

“We’re Mimed out,” Wallbanger said.