Kinko for President

When told this image was fake many soccer moms wanted to know if Palin was a liar as well as a cheap gun toting slut. "Why would she fake this? Is she trying to prove she's trailer trash?" asked one soccer mom.

“You used to know who a republican was,” said Martha Edendale-Fitch, “We were white, we were conservative christians, and we were soccer lovers. This whole hockey thing? That’s nonsense they cooked up in Canada.”

Edendale-Fitch is one of many identifying themselves as “soccer moms” who are fleeing the sudden influx of “hockey moms” to the GOP in response to the nomination of Sarah Palin who calls herself a “hockey mom”.

“My main problem is this whole pregnant daughter thing. I think we all know that hockey attracts and promotes teen sex. Do we want that in our party? Do we want that in our Vice President? I think we know the answer to these questions,” asserted Edendale-Fitch. “The great thing about soccer is that it teaches boys and girls to kick balls instead of slapping pucks. We all know what puck rhymes with.”

Many of these Soccer Moms have found a new home in the fledgling campaign of Kinko who’s campaign is fast becoming a home for those who are no longer under the republican or democratic banners.

“Kinko makes us feel safe. I don’t know if I’d feel safe with McCain in the white house.” said one soccer mom. “Maybe Palin should run for office in Canada. They like hockey.”

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