Kinko speaks!
Welcome to Kinko speaks.
This is where you will hear (some of) America’s favorite silent clown tell all. Many times you may have the word of Kinko being modified by his many interpreters, translaters, and followers. But here, at Kinko Speaks, you can rest assured that you will hear my authentic voice.
I look forward to walking forward with you, his majesty the people.
Your future president
Kinko the Clown.
You are invited to send Kinko questions, and many of them might be answered for all to benefit.
Many people ask me what I am going to do, and how I am going to change things once I get elected. With any show, a clown must adapt once the curtain has been raised. It may take some time for me to understand exactly what you need from me. Let us know think about the next four years, but more important, here are some of my plans for the first 100 days as president:
1. Paint the White House. Most likely a multi-colored pattern.
2. Make sure that every city has 24 hour access free public restrooms
3. Get the United States juggling together. Every Monday there will be a weekly juggling workshop on the white house lawn. I will also encourage employers to push a juggling break in the work place. And push for juggling to be included in the olympics (the last one is because of well paying lobbyists).
4. Hitch a ride on the space shuttle. Although many people argue that I have been spaced out for years, I really want to look out the window and see the Earth as a ball.
5. Bring past administration participants up for war crime trials. In all my years of vagrancy, loitering, public drunkenness, hitch-hiking, pan-handling and living a life of poverty, I was never given leniency by them, why should I give them leniency now.
6. Put peanuts and popcorn into every school lunch room. Organic cotton candy will also be served on Fridays.
Stay tuned for more
